Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
