those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
