weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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