you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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