you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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