His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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