$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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