It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
