TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
