I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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