So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
