i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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