It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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