Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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