is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
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Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
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This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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