Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
