I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
