Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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