Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
