Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
