how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
