god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
