MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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