Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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