the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
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It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
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I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize