My nipple is on Facebook.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
