I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
