What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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