All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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