There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Someone came in the potted fern
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
