Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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