Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
