there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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