Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
