she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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