every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
