Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
