so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
bring money and cleavage
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
