well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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