Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize