I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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