So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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