well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
