He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
