we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
