there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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