so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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