I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
