That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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