he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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