That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
