I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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