Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
