I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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