peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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