I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize