So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
