White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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