Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
